Mary Beth Tyson is a fantastic photographer that I met through my other job; she is funny, down-to-earth and happens to be a momma of a baby with Down Syndrome. After getting to know her a bit, I was completely inspired by how openly she shares her experience as John David’s mom and about how committed she is to dispelling a lot of the myths that surround Down Syndrome. Oh, and did I mention that she has two-under-two? That’s right – she runs a successful photography business, cares for two small boys and she’s made it her personal goal to prove that her son can lead an amazing life. Can you say “inspiring?”
I asked Mary Beth to share with me John David’s birth story, as well as talk about some common myths about children with Down Syndrome. My hope is that it will raise awareness, inspire moms to question their own preconceptions about Down Syndrome and help us all to realize that every baby is an amazing gift. Here is what Mary Beth has to say,
“Ryan and I were married in 2006. After four years of traveling, staying up late, sleeping in and enjoying life we decided we were ready to have a baby. We got pregnant as soon as we wanted and right away began planning for the newest addition. At 18 weeks we found out we were having a boy! Like most first time parents it’s hard to stop your mind from wondering what your baby will be like. President of the United States, a doctor who finds the cure to cancer, an entrepreneur. Your brain does crazy things when you are bringing your first into the world.
My contractions started around 6pm and a month too early. Even though we were early we left our house excited and looking forward to returning in just two short days with our new addition. I looked at the house as we left and I said to myself, in a few days three people will be living there, not two. In a few days that room on the corner will be occupied. Occupied with my perfect little boy with a future as bright as he wants and a world of opportunities. His room was ready, his clothes were hanging in the closet. The scene was set, it was just missing one thing: him.
After watching my baby’s heart rate they found that he was under distress and also very very small. I was told that night they would need to do c-section rather than a natural birth and by 8am I was wheeled into surgery. I was scared and worried that something was seriously wrong. His size and weight scared me to death and I quickly started to realize my dream of perfection was beginning to fade and I was beginning to face something I hadn’t planned.
At 8:30am he was born. Even with all of the stress and worry his cry was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. They brought him over for me to see and after only a few moments they took him to the ICU and put me in a separate room where we waited to go see him. When we were wheeled into the ICU to really see our precious John David for the first time. As we looked at him we were met by a Doctor who delivered some news I never expected to hear. He told us that they are very concerned he has Down Syndrome and then the rest of what he said I couldn’t hear. All I could do is look at my precious little one who I loved more than anything in the world. I don’t know if I cried or if I just stared. I also don’t remember being wheeled out of the room. Everything during that time is completely black. I do remember being forced to leave and looking back over my shoulder I could see him alone on a table under a light and surrounded by no one as I was wheeled away, intoxicated by my drugs from surgery and told to take care of myself.
Late that night I was allowed to go see him and hold him. As I held him in my arms I was still scared and heartbroken but he was so perfect to me. He was beautiful and he was my baby. He was the same baby that I loved and grew to love more with each kick from inside. He was the baby I had dreamed about for 8 months and prepared for. He was part Ryan and part me. He was beautiful. Even though I loved him I fought my thoughts and my fears.
Looking back I realize that one of the biggest problems and the reason for so many of my fears at the time is because I didn’t know anything about down syndrome! I only knew about it from very limited experiences such as strangers in the grocery store or commercials about the Special Olympics. My goal today is to educate as many people as possible about the facts of down syndrome to make the world a better place for my son. Our dreams for John David are just as bright and big as our dreams for our second son, Brennan. (yes, we’re the insane people who got pregnant again right after John David was born – on purpose!) While we know he will have to work harder to achieve certain things that may come second nature to our second son, we expect great things for him and probably more than what society expects.“
I asked Mary Beth to share some common myths or misconceptions about Down Syndrome. Here is what she shared with me,
9 MYTHS ABOUT RAISING A BABY WITH DOWN SYNDROME:
1. Children with Down syndrome must be placed in separate special education programs.
2. People with Down Syndrome do not have typical relationships with people without Down Syndrome.
3. People with Down Syndrome don’t know they have Down Syndrome.
4. People with Down Syndrome do not marry.
5. People with Down Syndrome will live at home forever.
6. People with Down syndrome are always happy and sweet.
7. People with Down syndrome die young.
8. People with Down syndrome are very similar to each other.
9. People with Down Syndrome do not learn beyond a certain level.
In talking about John David’s future, Mary Beth says,
“I can only share the truth about Down Syndrome according to my own experiences. In the last two years my eyes have been opened to the truth about this wonderful group of people and I’m not only thankful for those who realized there is so much more to our kids but also their parents who said “enough!” and stood up to what we have traditionally believed about the affects of the 21st chromosome. Before John David was born I didn’t know how to talk to a mom with a child with certain special needs. In fact, people with special needs made me uncomfortable. I wanted to treat them like everyone else but didn’t know how. Moms with kids with special needs aren’t asking you not to see that there is a difference. We are just asking you to give our kids a chance because we know there is so much more to them beyond what our world has traditionally believed to be true. We don’t like stereotypes even if the stereotype may seen like a compliment. We would rather our kids be recognized as an individual than categorized as “sweet” or “loving”. The best gift you can give a kid with special needs is to treat him like an individual with individual goals and dreams.
For example, one month I decided to teach John David to read. Yes, at 21 months and with an extra chromosome, I was hoping he could learn to read. And he did. After two weeks he mastered 15 words without much effort. I don’t think I learned the difference between “boat” and “boot” until the 1st grade. He points to his body parts when he sees the word and when he sees the word “dog” he says “woof!”. We are now moving on to the next 15 words.
Our goals for John David are great! We have high expectations for him but we also know that the road he will travel may be harder than the road his brother will travel. We don’t know what he will achieve in his lifetime but we do know that having him has made us look at life and humanity in such a different way. We can’t wait to see how he will affect the people he comes in contact with because at 22 months he’s drastically changed us. The future is bright!”
{all photos copyright Susan Stripling}
Beautiful and touching story. Thank you, Mary Beth for your honesty.
a beautiful story, Mary Beth, and a beautiful boy. Thank you for sharing!
OK, that was amazing to read and he is a gorgeous gorgeous little boy. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
As the mother of a 4yo daughter with Down syndrome, I love this post! Does Mary Beth have a personal blog (not just her business one?)
Such a great post! It’s always so great to hear your story!
I remember how scared Mary Beth was when John David was first born. Although she was shaken, she is a very strong person. I am so proud of what an amazing advocate she has become for her son and her family. She is an incredible mother and a phenomenal person. John David is a lucky, blessed, and happy little boy because of her support. And anyone who knows John David is fortunate too. He is a squeezable, precious, little ray of sunshine!
Beautiful little boy — heartfelt story. Thank you for sharing.
This is just beautiful. Thanks to Mary Beth for her honesty and for sharing her son’s story with your readers – he is already an inspiration to many
As a mother to an awesome 5 yr old that sports designer genes, I am thankful for this post.
Beautifully written. I am struck that so many people make it to adulthood without awareness about Downs Syndrome. It seemed pretty common when I was growing up in a chemical town, Wilmington, DE. (i admit that i was afraid sometimes) Goodwill Industries is a great charity and i support them with my donations. Great post Chenin.
I love this woman and John David. I’m not sure how I would have handled this situation, God bless them all.
As someone that knows the Tyson clan I am proud of Mary Beth and this post. I am so happy John David is going to know that his future is bright and downs syndrome won’t hold him back because his parents are going to teach him that he can be whatever he wants to be, not necessarily what stereotypes say he has to do in life.
What a beautiful story.
Hello – my name is Jill and my daughter (Jehle) is 28 mths old!! I am glad to know there are other parents out there like us!!! The sky’s the limit for our little girl!! We have an older daughter (Stanford) she’s 7 and to me there is not much difference at all!!! What a wonderful story!!!
Such a touching read. When I was 10 my mother gave birth to a sweet little guy with DS. She was encouraged to maintain low expectations by the doctors. He was walking talking and operating a VCR before he was 20 months old. A bit of a Sesame Street junkie, he was.
He brings joy to us everyday. His perspective on life makes us value kindness and each other a little more than we would otherwise. Thanks so much for sharing this!
Mary Beth! He’s beautiful. Such amazing eyes!
You have the right outlook. We have always had great expectations for our son, Mitch. We’ve never treated him any differently than his older sister. He’s 12, reads, hates Math, has about a zillion friends and makes us laugh every day. Last night, he danced for us after dinner, showing us his “cowboy dance.” I laughed till I cried. He’s a trip. Can’t imagine life without either of our amazing kids!
This story really touched me. My oldest brother was born in 1973 with Downs and he now lives on his own in his own condo, has a steady job, and is a fantastic person. My mom never gave up on him, and never took no for an answer. He was the first student with special needs to go through our local school system, and graduated from high school. Your little guy can do anything he wants to do! There are so many great programs and people to help him out, and with great parents, he is going to be a success! Much love!
Your little guy is the most beautiful child I have ever seen. He took my breath away. And your article is an absolute inspiration. Thank you!!
When my 12-year old daughter, who happens to have DS, was in preschool, they told us she couldn’t be in a regular K class at her neighborhood school; now in Middle School, she’s learning spanish, conducting science experiments, and calculating perimeters alongside her peers. When in K, they told us she’d never be more than a sight word reader…. she now reads 4th grade text close to 80 wpm. Her greatest obstacles have always been the limited expectations of those others — although it took me many years to learn what you have in less than 2 years…. beautifully stated.
Excellent! thanx 4 The share! Smiles
Wonderful post! I am a mother of two amazing boys
7 & 5 , Rye our 5 yr old happens to have DS! He’s an amazing and wonderful gift in our lives. It is amazing how much one little bundle of joy can forever change your life for the better in so many ways 
Mary Beth he’s beautiful!
I just checked this blog post out again and reading all of these comments and I’m crying. This is has blessed my heart more than words can say! Thank you for commenting and reaching out to me! I have received a few emails from moms across the country and I’m so excited to see that other kids are kicking butt and taking names! Keep it up! If we put a ceiling on our expectations the world will too.
I had no idea this blog post would reach so many people and put me in contact with so many moms who I automatically connect with because we are walking the same path and educating everyone around us to expect much more than what’s ever been expected before us!
Wow thank you for sharing your personal feelings. I just wanted to say that I think your child is breathtaking and not because of down syndrome and I love your photos <3
Very beautiful story. I remember my son, Timothy Michael being born and the news hitting 1 day after his birth. (The Dr. told me,”You’re young, you can have more children. Put him in and institute and forget you had him.”) That was 29 years ago, and my son still leaves with me. I’ve seen all the best qualities a mother could ever want out of a son. Upon Tim starting school at 3, a man approached me and said, “Even though you have a special young man there, don’t treat him like he’s special, treat him like he’s normal!” And I do! A friend of mine also has a DS child, that she has treated “special,” you can see the difference between the two. Her child expects things to be given constantly, where mine wants to do anything he can to work for it. I’m proud of who my son has become, and wouldn’t change anything about him.
Mary Beth, I sincerely wish you all the blessings in the world. God has blessed you with a perfect child.
Our daughter Faith is 5 and has “a little something extra”, too. She also started talking at 12 months, walking at 16 months, and hit pretty much every other milestone right in the middle of typical kid range. She’s now in an integrated kindergarten and other than speech (for enunciation and precision, mostly, and she now speaks very clearly) has no need for any other special services, like PT or OT.
At 5, she is a beautiful, sociable, funny, outgoing, and confident little girl, and after a few weeks of kindergarten, already the queen of the class.
I agree that the myths you’ve posted here are often just myths. A lot depends, of course, on how the parents choose to raise their child. We were determined from day one to not treat her any differently than we would treat any kid, and now she has two younger brothers and we’re living out our promise. The sky is the limit for our little Faith, and for John David too.
A beautiful story and a handsome son! My granddaughter, Amber, has an extra chromesome. She is an amazing child and she and her mother lived with us (her grandparents) for a while after my daughter’s divorce. When they moved into their own home, that was the first time I truly experienced “empty nest” syndrome. She brought so much love into our lives and I just can’t put into words how special she is. She’s a people magnet; everywhere she goes, people are just drawn to her special light. She’s one of those people that I think God puts here for a particular reason. Thank you for creating your website; maybe God gave you your son to educate and share your very special talents and his.
What a wonderful story! My son Nic is 3yrs old and has Down syndrome…but he is the heart of this family! I remember the scary times of the unknown and unfamiliar territory…but I am the happiest mom when I see him smile and accomplish goals, so what he doesn’t catch on a quickly as his twin sister. I’m glad not to go through some stages (terrible 2′s) with two kids at the same time!
Beautifully written. I think we can relate to every word you’ve written.
My daughter Alexa just turned 13 yesterday.
She is an amazing teenager. Totally like every other 13 year old girl I meet, mood swings and all! LOL! She is the light of my life, and has done everything everone said she couldn’t/wouldn’t. I have BIG dreams for her, and I know she will go far in life. She is so strong and determined. Things may be harder, but they are far from IMPOSSIBLE!
The only limitations are the ones we set ourselves, so the sky is the limit!
You are his advocate! You are the one who will fight for him and because of that he WILL succeed
I’ve shared parts of our story over the years here:
http://laurenm.blogs.splitcoaststampers.com/alexas-story/
Scroll down for the most up to date info
thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it. My favorite part was when you had your second son, my husband and I did the same…….My daughter Kelsey has down stndrome…..she is almost 12 and John Jr is almost 11. They are just 10 months apart. We feel good knowing that he will always be there for her. He is a geat brother to her.